There are certain situations that confront us in life that make us wish we’d developed better skills in dealing with them. They act as triggers, allowing our emotions to get the best of us and our negative thoughts and reactions to create grief for others and ourselves. We say things we regret, or we explode and hurt others we love and adore. There are things in life – situations or people or jobs – that are seemingly unbearable to the sanctity of humanness. But they are just situations, and they can be dealt with in a different way.
By rationally handling any life situation from a conscious perspective, rather than from spinning out of control with negative thoughts and emotions, we can improve the reality that awaits us each and every day. We don’t have to continue the painful lessons life so readily offers, if we don’t want to. This is what Brandon McInerney and his family were never able to discover in life. Brandon was not raised with the skills that would have allowed him to deal with the pressure he felt coming at him from his school situation with Larry King. Brandon’s ego wouldn’t allow it. The more Larry teased him, the more hostile Brandon became. His rage grew as did his father’s. Yet, as we spoke about last week, Brandon and his family had made efforts to change the situation. However due to their pervasive unconsciousness, and the fact that school officials lacked a solid plan in handling the escalating problems between these kids, everyone’s attempts to thwart Larry’s provocative behavior failed. Larry may very well have had every right to do everything he did, but the reality is that these were both very immature children from an emotional level. They were both extremely unconscious in their lack of grace in dealing with life and each other, and, unfortunately, so were the adult figures in their lives.
GET AWAY FROM THE NEGATIVITY
And this is where others failed Brandon and Larry by not coming up with a solution to their problems. Once it became apparent that school officials would or could not alter Larry’s behavior, Brandon needed to make greater change in the way he responded to both Larry and the situation. He needed to learn how to calm down. He needed to turn his cheek, walk away, or go see a school counselor. He needed to somehow find the support base that would help him deal with his out-of-control rage. But once it was realized that this was not going to happen, then someone, anyone, had to get Brandon out of there. Remove him from what in Brandon’s immature mind had become an unbearable situation. Which is the second positive step Brandon, or any of us, can take in any given troubling situation.
If we can’t change it, then we need to get away from it. Remove ourselves from the negativity of relationship or the situation. Pick up our foundation and move it to smoother waters. But, of course, not all of us find ourselves in situations that we can just get up and move away from. Many of us live in untenable situations, like in prison, or in a prison-like situation where change and getting away are not options. For these types of situations, the only answer is surrender, which may be the greatest tool life has to offer …
To be continued….
