Stolen Boy’s Weblog

Last month, I wrote a commentary to the Ventura County Star about my feelings regarding the mandatory-minimum 51-year sentence to an adult prison fourteen-year-old Brandon McInerney is likely to receive for killing Larry King last February at E.O. Green Middle School in Oxnard. I received much intense feedback from across the country for what I wrote. People filled my ears with hateful words on what they wanted to see happen to Brandon.

Others believed that Larry King got what he had coming. All the way around, the words were very sad and filled with a lack of compassion for all who were concerned. I’m hoping that this will change, that everyone will become more compassionate, recognizing that by wishing harm upon others, we are in fact bringing pain to ourselves. The following letter seems to reflect a very enlightened insight into what happened between these two young boys.

Dear Mr. Mehas,

Thank you for writing your recent article for Ventura County Star News entitled, “14-year-old Brandon McInerney: Ventura County’s sacrificial lamb.” From the very beginning of this tragedy, I tried to tell every authority figure I ran into at Lawrence King’s memorial service to be merciful with Brandon, that he is just a little boy who is likely far more frightened and confused than hateful and evil.

I wanted so badly to be able to go into Brandon’s cell and talk with him as a father to a son, leading him through the steps of acknowledging his own fear of being a child and being alone and likely questioning his own sexuality and being terrified of his own father who undoubtedly had screamed at him, “You’re not going to be one of those God-damned fucking queers! No son of mine is going to be some fag boy!”

From what I’ve read about Brandon’s father, it sounds to me that Brandon’s psychological, and maybe even physical, survival depended upon imitating his father’s behavior. In a household plagued by family violence, Brandon had to at least pretend to agree with his father’s attitudes and behaviors even if he didn’t agree with them. At age 14, one can’t really be expected to be “thinking as an individual” when your survival depends upon thinking like your father. If Brandon’s father was physically and psychologically abusing his mother, as reports say, then certainly he was doing the same to Brandon and, if not, Brandon would at least be terrified that his father’s wrath could be turned against him at any unpredictable time.

I’m convinced that a sensitive and insightful person, male or female, could have brought Brandon to a place of confessing his terrible action for what it is and brought him to authentic remorse and even understanding of how his fear of his sexuality, his own identity as a male and as a powerful person, influenced his decision to kill Lawrence. What Lawrence represented to Brandon was so powerful because the same behavior or attitude, from Brandon’s point of view, would have resulted in his own emotional or physical death from his father. He could not allow himself to even contemplate the possibility of being what Lawrence represented to him. If this powerful symbolic dynamic was not at work, Brandon may have still thought Lawrence was silly or foolish or stupid or sinful, but he would not have needed to murder Lawrence. Murdering Lawrence was necessary because Lawrence symbolized everything Brandon must abhor in order to stay alive in his terrible household.

I am so convinced that Brandon should be sentenced to a couple decades of public service speaking to young people about the consequences of family violence, of running away from our own fears by hating others who represent those fears, of the value of tolerance and acceptance of others, even when we would personally never find their way(s) of life desirable to ourselves. If Brandon can be rehabilitated through wise, loving, sensitive and insightful counsel, then he should be given the opportunity to serve the community from whom he robbed another life. If his attitude is not regretful, repentant, but obstinate and hateful and vindictive, and defending his actions, perhaps even insisting that “Lawrence got what he deserved,” and stating that he would do it again if some “fuckin’ faggot” came toward him, etc., then I think he should remain in prison as an adult where he can be kept from bringing harm on another human being who might trigger the same response in him in another setting with similar dynamics.

Sincerely,

Brian Kraemer
Altadena, CA

Mr. Kraemer is a 45-year-old private academic tutor for parents and their children. He has taught 2nd through 4th grades and he is always looking for meaningful things to add to his own life. He views all individuals as children, anxious to impress, waiting to be listened to and cared for, longing to feel meaningful and safe, involved in something of importance, but, simultaneously thwarted by fear of rejection, fear of not getting what they long for, and having to deal with the anger that comes from such fears. He believes the key to tragic and trying experiences is the lessons we take home with us.

If you would like to share some of your thoughts with Brian Kraemer, he can be reached by email at linus_blanket_2001@yahoo.com. We at Stolen Boy are also in agreement with Brian that the right words spoken to the right person at the right time effects what might be termed miracles in life. Keep ‘em coming, Brian.