Stolen Boy’s Weblog

A 15-year-old boy is dead. And a 14-year-old is alleged to have killed him.

A child killing another child is nothing new. In fact, we see it all the time. Our newspapers and television news shows scream more of these headlines than we’d probably ever want to admit. It’s disheartening for sure, but, somehow, we always manage to get through it. We feel empathy for those who might have been involved with the tragedy. But, being desensitized by all the violence we experience in our daily lives, we find a way and the will to move on. And that’s just the way it is. Things get going so fast sometimes that we have to move on as a mechanism to survival. And our children are paying for it dearly.

Troubled children

They’re confused and they’re troubled. They’re doing more drugs and more alcohol at younger ages in their lives than ever before. Our children are committing more violent crimes than at any time in history and they’re using weapons while they’re doing them. A child killing another child happens every day, and it happens all over the world. In other countries, it’s usually a product of wartime. Where mere kids are marched onto the killing fields, bearing arms against one another in the name of some god or greedy adult representing government or business.

But here, in America, the dirty work between our children is done in the classrooms, in our shopping malls and in our homes.

Why?

Brandon McInerney had barely turned 14 when, on Feb. 12, he allegedly walked into a classroom at E.O. Green Junior High School in Oxnard and shot several bullets into the head of his classmate. Some immediately pointed a finger of justification at the fact that 15-year-old Larry King’s sexual orientation had been in question. These same people surmised that a lack of tolerance by some of his peers might have led to his violent demise. And even if there were a smidgen of truth to this, again, we find ourselves asking the same question. Why?

On the other side of this crimson-smeared coin we find a 14-year-old boy with a purported sketchy background involving a dysfunctional childhood, divorcing parents, violence, alcohol, drugs and guns. Throw in the average violent television show and violent video games that we subject our kids to on an everyday basis and we might begin to see the formula capable of influencing a child to commit murder.

In our own life’s experiences, we learned that the moods and emotions of our parents and those other influential people we grew up around had all played major roles in our own emotional and psychological development. If our parents or family members had anger-management problems that spilled over to us, odds are we grew up with our own set of anger-management issues. If our parents showcased a lackadaisical attitude regarding the use of drugs or alcohol or guns to solve their problems, then we most probably followed suit.

Cause and effect

Just like in the movies, life has its cause-and-effect relationship. When confronted with negativity, most of us like to blame the world around us. We act as though we’re at the center of the universe, affected by everything that floats around us. If the world didn’t act a certain way, we might say, then I wouldn’t have acted the way I did. A “his fault, not mine,” kind of attitude.

But this is a skewed version of any rose-colored reality. Because when we learn to add up the experiences in our lives, we learn to appreciate the fact that we create what happens. It doesn’t create us. For those of us who experience so much personal suffering, this is not always a pleasant idea for contemplation. We don’t always want to accept the responsibility for what happens to us. But when we start to look around, it begins to makes sense. Why wouldn’t our reality generate from the energies we expend into the universe?

This means that our thoughts and our beliefs and our desires and our expectations all play major parts in creating the forces that materialize around us. Which holds true for our children as well. Those who learn to live through the principles of love and respect and compassion will encounter like energies on their road through life. Where, on the other hand, hatred and fear and intolerance will breed their own kind of ugly existence.

Which is, of course, where our children find themselves at the end of the day. Twisting in the wind of erratic emotions, hormones and ideas. And this becomes our invitation to step in, to play a more meaningful role in the development of their lives. To spend a few more minutes each day communicating with our children on a deeper level than ever before. To help transform ours and their consciousnesses into something more positive. To learn to experience compassion in our own lives, and to share this experience with others.

Compassion required

It is the same type of compassion that we need to now apply to Larry King’s family. And, maybe even more importantly, to Brandon and his family and loved ones, who now face the biggest challenge of their lives. The Ventura County district attorney wants to try young Brandon as an adult and they want to put him in prison for the rest of his life.

Do we destroy another child?

Which, of course, brings up another even more important question. Even if the child is found guilty, do we really want to do to Brandon what he is alleged to have done to Larry? Do we destroy him? And what about his parents? And all those who love him? We can only begin to empathize with the pain Larry’s family must be feeling. But do we make a victim’s family out of Brandon’s family as well?

He is only 14. Which is really beside the point because we’re talking about a human’s life here. All human life has tremendous value. And the compassion we choose to exercise now, both toward our children and toward the Larry Kings and Brandon McInerneys of the world, will probably go a long way toward determining how quickly we change the reality that surrounds us. And isn’t that what we’re really all about anyway?

— Michael Mehas of Ventura is an attorney, and associate producer of the film “Alpha Dog” and author of the award-winning novel “Stolen Boy,” both based on Jesse James Hollywood, who faces the death penalty in Santa Barbara for allegedly orchestrating the abduction and murder of 15-year-old Nicholas Markowitz. He can be reached at http://www.MichaelMehas.com.

For more on Brandon McInerney please read related articles:
- In Brandon McInerney’s Defense, a Defense Fund
- Brandon McInerney is Worth Saving
- Brandon McInerney’s Legal Court Brief for July 24, 2008
- Let’s Not Destroy Brandon McInerney